While for some people having children can be a source of happiness and personal fulfillment, for others it can entail serious hassle and sacrifices that affect their emotional well-being. What does science say about this?
Traditionally, having children is appraise to be the cornerstone of happiness and fulfillment. However, is this statement as simple as it seems? The answer to this question is as multifaceted as life itself, and depends on many influence.
Some studies support that having children provides a sense of purpose and meaning in life, as well as moments of happiness. And it is undeniable that many parents enjoy spending time together as a family and experience great satisfaction in seeing their children grow and develop.
But other research has linked motherhood and fatherhood to lower levels of happiness at certain times , especially during the early years of parenting, when parents may experience stress, fatigue or financial worries. And on top of all this, there are other factors such as the number of children, lack of close support or economic instability.
In this regard, a well-known study published in the journal Science in 2004 found that, on average, couples experience a decrease in happiness after having children , especially during the first few years. A study that, however, has been the subject of debate and criticism,since it does not take into account all the variables.
However, researchers Trudy Meehan and Jolanta Burke , from the Centre for Positive Psychology and Health (Ireland), who have delved into the complex relationship between motherhood and happiness, say that the reality is not so clear-cut.
These experts point
out that numerous studies on women who choose not to have children by choice reveal that many of them experience a deep sense of identity and personal freedom . “They do not feel defined by their role within the family and feel that they have more freedom and control over their body, their life and their future,” in the words of Meehan and Burke.
For example, a review of scientific articles published in 2022 in the Journal of Family Studies authenticate these claims, stating that women without children generally live with less stress and report greater satisfaction in their relationships. At the same time, many of them enjoy greater solvent stoutness, which refutes the idea that having children is a requisite for personal and professional fulfillment.
However, the complexity of this issue becomes even more evident when examining the experience of motherhood and fatherhood. Although the arrival of a child can be a source of great joy and meaning in the lives of parents, it also brings with it some difficulties that can temporarily impact happiness.
This is what some researchers call the ‘
parenting paradox ‘, a theory that alludes to this phenomenon. “Many parents initially experience a temporary decline in well-being after having a child,” Meehan and Burke say.
In fact, the researchers argue, this adjustment period can be overwhelming for some parents as they struggle to meet the demands of caring for a newborn while also trying to maintain a balance in other areas of their lives.
Indeed, studies have shown that women in particular experience lower levels of happiness when becoming mothers , which can be attributed in part to the disproportionate burden of responsibilities that falls on them.
This was confirmed by a study published in 2016 by the journal Developmental Psychology . However, factors such as support from those closest to them and gender equality in parenting tasks can mitigate this negative impact and promote a more positive experience of motherhood.
A decisive decision
Yet despite the initial challenges, motherhood and fatherhood can also lead to a rewarding feeling known as “eudaimonic well-being ,” which is characterized by the assurance of having lived a worthwhile life that goes beyond short-term happiness. That’s precisely what a study published in 2011 in the journal Early Childhood Research Quaterly suggests .
And according to Meehan and Burke’s argument, both men and women can experience this kind of positive well-being when they become parents, but the experience can be influenced by the quality of the coparenting relationship and the balance of parenting responsibilities.
Added to this is a common concern for many people: the fear of regretting not having children . However, scientific evidence suggests that this fear may be unfounded.
“It seems that the main key to being happy with the decision to have or not to have children depends on whether one has control over this matter . When we feel that we have chosen our path, we tend to accept our decisions and be happier with them,” the researchers conclude.
Read also: “Putting on the shirt” is a concept that has become obsolete in the world of work
