Female anorgasmia, why?

Female anorgasmia, why?

Since it had little or no influence on reproduction, orgasm had hardly aroused any interest in the scientific world until relatively recently. The progressive liberation of women and the defense of sexual rights have favored the visibility and importance of orgasm. Anorgasmia is currently the most studied female sexual dysfunction.

For female anorgasmia, there is no specific period during which it can be given clinical status. Throughout a woman’s life, there are many occasions in which the sexual response does not culminate in an orgasmic sensation, and this cannot therefore be considered something pathological.

An additional problem that can arise is sociocultural pressure. Watching erotic scenes in movies or reading magazines that describe explosive orgasms makes those who do not experience this sensation feel limited, interpreting their sexuality as poor or non-existent, which inevitably leads to avoidance and lack of training to achieve orgasm.

Types of anorgasmia:

Primary orgasmic dysfunction: women who have never had an orgasm.

Situational orgasmic dysfunction or situational anorgasmia: they have achieved orgasm only a few times and under specific circumstances.

Incidental orgasmic dysfunction: They have rarely achieved orgasm.

Secondary orgasmic dysfunction: they have had an orgasm but after a certain point they stop experiencing it.

Reasons why women with anorgasmia seek psychological counseling:

There have never been orgasms under any circumstances. This is the most common. If it is accompanied by low excitability, the woman is not usually very worried, since she has generally adapted to the situation and labels herself as “not very sexual” and as a defense mechanism, she adopts negative attitudes to everything related to sex. On the other hand, if the excitability is high, she feels that she is missing something and regardless of the pressure from her partner, she is more motivated to solve the problem.

  1. Anorgasmia except in dreams. There is no doubt about the psychogenic etiology of the process since they achieve orgasm in dreams.
  2. Orgasm only with self-stimulation. This is usually the first or second reason for consultation, along with total anorgasmia. Sexual education is becoming more and more popular, with the population understanding that coital anorgasmia is not a problem in itself.
  3. Only by manual stimulation of oneself and one’s partner. It should not be considered pathological, but it is a concern for many women who sometimes come to the doctor at the instigation of their partners, who feel their self-esteem is under attack if they do not reach orgasm through penetration.
  4. Only due to pressure from the shower jet. This is rare. It usually occurs due to a fear of manual contact, especially in victims of sexually-related trauma.
  5. Just squeezing the legs. A more common position than you might think. Common in people who have been punished in childhood for being caught touching themselves, and even in those who suffer from fear or disgust of the genitals.
  6. Only with oral stimulation. The probability of achieving orgasm with other types of behavior is usually high in these cases, which almost always present normal excitability.
  7. Only by manual stimulation of the partner but not by self-stimulation. Similar characteristics to the previous case.
  8. Orgasm with penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time. This is the most common way to achieve orgasm. Some people come to therapy with the false belief that the modus operandi is not correct.
  9. With some partners but not with others. Women who do not have an easy time achieving orgasm and who need to get used to a certain type of behavior, rhythm, style, etc. It also occurs when there are conflicts in the couple. Low excitability and little practice in masturbation are common.
  10. A few times in her life. Orgasm is rare. The usual course is low excitability; there are often psychological issues that prevent the woman from letting go, such as alcohol consumption, cannabis, etc.
  11. Low-intensity orgasm. When it occurs with persistent high excitability, organic or constitutional factors must be considered, but if it coexists with low excitability, it may be due to other issues.
  12. Women who want to have more than one orgasm in a row. Multiorgasmia has become a totem of female sexual effectiveness, which is why some women who only have one previous orgasm in the resolution phase are considered inferior.
  13. Women who are not sure about having orgasms. The most common way is when the woman is interviewed in couples therapy for the man’s sexual dysfunction. Also, due to poor or repressive sexual education, they are not sure about reaching a climax.

Psychological causes of anorgasmia

In the learning process, parental attitudes, displays of affection between parents, positions regarding nudity, comments about sexuality, etc., will promote development in a heterophobic or heterophilic sense.

Unlike men, who are encouraged and encouraged to sexualize women, women are educated to be careful of men. In this way, it is difficult to let go, and without the ability to let go, there is no room for pleasure.

Fears and unfamiliarity with the genitals, together with a social environment that does not at all favor female erotic growth, will make it easier for women to adhere to beliefs that prevent the development of their eroticism and, consequently, the difficulty in experiencing orgasm.

Another relevant point in female erotica is aesthetics, since there are few women who throughout their lives are not exposed to some kind of weight loss regimen and long hours of physical exercise to make their appearance look like that of models, which also does not facilitate the capacity for abandonment.

It seems logical that educational differences in psychosexual development have something to do with the disparity in prevalence rates of orgasm disturbances between men and women.

We found that the most common causes of anorgasmia would be:

The dichotomy between learned values ​​and what is socially requested of men and women on a sexual level.

Religious orthodoxy and negative attitude towards nudity.

Traumatic sexual experiences.

Culpability.

Depressive states.

Ineffective communication and hostility towards the partner.

Boredom or monotony in sexual practices.

Sexual ignorance.

Negative attitudes towards masturbation.

Fear of losing control.

Relevant factors in the development of anorgasmia:

Inadequate sex education: women who have received intensive training in protecting their bodies from male aggression, valuing resistance and control over abandonment. They have assimilated the message that anyone who enjoys themselves is “a loose woman” or that they should simply “give themselves over” to the right person.

Negative sexual attitudes: As a result of the above, most women with anorgasmia have very negative attitudes towards sexuality, with unfavorable opinions on everything related to sex and who consider masturbation as a substitute for intercourse.

Low self-esteem: Many women who come to therapy consider themselves unattractive and are not happy with their bodies. Some have learned to need so much preparation to be physically up to par (waxing, strengthening certain muscles, tanning, etc.) that when faced with sexual intercourse, they believe that it is such a hard process that it is not rewarded by the result of the sexual experience.

Anxious ambivalent attachment style: ambivalence regarding commitment to the partner, fear of being abandoned, fear of asserting independence, and insecurity about being accepted, do not generate the confidence necessary to reach climax.

Low assertiveness: they do not dare to ask for or express what they need and subjugate themselves to their partner, adapting to their partner’s habits even if they are unpleasant.

Lack of intimacy and communication in the couple: a sexual relationship cannot flow properly when communication is lacking and the woman’s expectations are frustrated, making her feel uncomfortable in the relationship and therefore having difficulty letting go. Over time, resentment and even rejection develop.

Unreasonable expectations about sexuality: women who have negative attitudes towards sexuality are often more disappointed after their first sexual relations. If it has been a great challenge to move on to having sex to please their partner and they find that the vagina barely provides them with pleasure, it is normal to experience a feeling of frustration and a predisposition not to feel much.

This is why it is understood that the difficulty in completely abandoning oneself due to negative beliefs about the inability to reach orgasm, such as  “I won’t reach it”, “I’m not good enough” or “I’ll let him down” block the orgasm response. Constant self-observation together with attention to the partner’s ejaculatory time maintains the tension, preventing it.

Anticipatory anxiety linked to the partner’s demand for performance ( orgasm ) also maintains female anorgasmic behavior. Dysthymic processes, conflictive relationships, and stressors unrelated to the sexual relationship also act as supporting factors.

Conclusion

Only 5% of anorgasmias are caused by organic factors, the rest are due to psychological causes, as listed above.

Psychological therapy works to eliminate negative attitudes and prejudices surrounding sexuality in general.

Time is spent explaining the female sexual response, combating erroneous beliefs, and discussing the different ways in which other couples and different cultures express sexuality.

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