In recent years, there has been a lot of talk about love languages, which refer to how people show and express affection towards others and how they like to receive it.
We don’t all express ourselves in the same way and we don’t necessarily have the same needs, tastes, and preferences, and although that doesn’t mean that we aren’t compatible, it does mean that it’s important to be attentive and understand what those actions or ways are that are used to show love, affection or interest.
Sometimes actions matter more than words, and saying “I love you” or “I want you” must be backed up by what we do, and that is where love languages come into play. When we do not know or understand them, we can believe that our partners do not feel the same between the relationship and the bond.
What are the love languages and why do they matter?
Love languages have to do with how you prefer to receive and express the love you feel for others, whether it be a partner, friend, or family, but it mainly focuses on romantic relationships.
The concept was introduced in the 1990s by psychologist Gary Chapman and, according to Calm.com, is made up of 5 types.
Words of affirmation: refers to giving and receiving compliments, words of affirmation, and putting into words how you feel about the other person.
Acts of service: refer to doing things for others, to show that the other person you care.
Gifts: Many people prefer to express love by giving and receiving gifts, which can be small things and meaningful details to show that you are thinking about the person.
Quality time: This refers to showing love by dedicating time and attention to people, doing activities together, and sharing moments in person.
Physical contact: This does not only refer to sex, but also to showing affection through things like hugging, holding hands, kissing, or physically showing support and comfort.
“Taking time to understand and practice your partner’s love language shows them that you care about their feelings and that you are an understanding and good listener. Your partner must reciprocate this affection as well – no relationship should be one-sided,” LinkedIn says.
How to understand your partner’s love language?
“Knowing your own can help you understand and communicate what makes you feel loved, and understanding your partners can make it easier for you to express how much you care in a way that’s meaningful to them. This can lead to stronger, more fulfilling relationships,” says Calm.com.
You don’t need to have the same love language as your partner, but for your relationship to stay strong, stable, and happy, it’s important to understand how each of you prefers to express and receive love, and what you can do to cover that.
Pay attention to details: It’s important to pay attention to the things your partner does for and with you, and how they show affection. Maybe they’re not a person who talks a lot about what they feel, but they may be showing love through gifts or quality time. Pay attention to your way of showing affection as well, so you can better understand how you express it.
Ask: When you are in doubt or when your partner’s love language is not very clear, because it could fit into different types, the best thing you can do is ask. Dare to ask questions about what your partner likes, his/her preference, and how he/she likes to receive love.
Ask for what you need:
If your love language and your partner’s are not the same, then you need to let them know that you need something different. Your needs will never be met if you don’t express them, and your partner won’t necessarily understand your love language if you don’t explain it.
Express yourself actively: Once you know your partner’s language and what they’re all about, then it’s a good idea to try to have some expressions of love that fit that language. As Calm.com explains, this shows that you’re committed to your partner’s needs.
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